"The first high definition photos have been received from the Mars rover. As predicted, Curiosity has located a McDonald's with two drive-thru lanes, a Starbucks and a Walmart Supercenter. It has also begun receiving transmissions regarding its extended warranty and its Medicare options."
The reports of my singing are greatly exaggerated. I only hummed "Happy Birthday" to myself once, back in 2013. 🎂🎵 https://t.co/wK3HGP2STY pic.twitter.com/o4b3AuVm1c
— Curiosity Rover (@MarsCuriosity) August 4, 2017
"Sometimes I withhold my data on purpose - mix things up a little."
"A new leaked government tape reveals that the Mars rover discovered a potential prototype of a feline-type lifeform. However, before all the data could be downloaded and evaluated, Curiosity killed the cat."
"Of course, if I really squint, it's like I'm in the Mojave."
"When the Mars rover gets stuck in a crater, the dilemma is designated as a fourth world problem."
"Don't get me started on 'my' Twitter account. 'Come for the sand, stay for the science.' 'A scoopful of Mars helps the science go down.' It's as if NASA brought in a first-grade teacher for public relations. It's embarrassing."
"Having the whole place to yourself is overrated."
"One of the best parts about Mars is the climate is pretty much done changing."
"Checked the AirBnB reviews; this place has no TV, no swimming, no skiing... why the heck do humans want to colonize here?!?"
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