Lemonade

When I first realized on Friday that my blog had disappeared, I thought, well, okay, so I guess I don't have to blog anymore. That very pleasant realization lasted for nearly 10 minutes.

Maybe I needed this to happen so I could see that I'm truly not ready to walk away from my blog yet. There have been many times when I thought perhaps I've done enough. I've written enough patterns. I've shared enough photos. I've spent way too much time on the computer.

But deep down inside, I really do enjoy blogging. I enjoy the challenge of trying to finish a new snowflake pattern each week. I enjoy the challenge of trying to finish my quilting WIPs. I really enjoy sharing photography, even though I've really cut back on other forms of social media, due to lack of time.

There was a time when I dreamed of writing a novel that was popular enough, it would be made into a movie. I dreamed of paying off all my extended family's debts. I dreamed of buying a vacation home I could invite my family to each year for a reunion. Shoot, I still dream of going back to The Wave one day...

I still think it would be cool to write a very popular novel, but I don't have time to devote to the ones in progress, and I don't dare start anything new. I would still love to pay off all my extended family's debts, especially my mom's loan to bury my dad. If I get a windfall in the next couple of years, I will pay that off because I just wish my mom didn't have to take out that loan. I would still love to see my family for something other than a funeral. And I still want to go back to The Wave. And Yellowstone. And the Tour de Lavender...

But life the way it is right now is dictating my priorities. And I'm okay with that. Friends and neighbors are continually asking if they can sit with Lizard for a while so I can take a break for me. I so appreciate the offers, but I enjoy my time with Lizard. Neither of us enjoys what Parkinson's has done to him or our life, but we love each other, and I don't feel the need right now for me-time.

I still love to write, and blogging gives me that opportunity. Even though my daily readership has gone down dramatically. I have about 15 regular readers these days. I have about three daily readers, although that's gone down by one now. My dad read my blog every day. So now, I'm down to two daily readers.

So I guess for now, I'll keep blogging. Because I can. That doesn't mean my old blog has been rescued... My hosting provider is still working on it. I'm wondering if my blog has been hacked again because the hosting provider doesn't know why certain changes were made, and I certainly didn't do it!

So, I will keep blogging for now. I will copy my new posts to Snowcaught. (Can you believe the first word I thought of when I set up a substitute blog was available?!? Holy cow! How awesome is that?!?) And if this problem continues, I may try to start moving my snowflake patterns to Snowcaught, too. But it will be a slow process. There are nearly 800 patterns. If I was able to move one a day, it would take me more than two years just to do the patterns.

But you know what I CAN do??? I CAN cry 800 tears! I CAN crochet 800 yards of white thread. I'm pretty sure every single quilt has at least 800 stitches. And I CAN hug Lizard 800 times! Just not any of the above all at one time...

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